let's burn together.

it's you. it has been you for the past four years. she thought. always missing each other and messing with each other. she was single, he was not. he was single, she had options. he was no option. but, deep inside her, the weird sensation that drove her to him somehow. through talks. the way he saw her, the way he used to make her feel desired. an unique weird sensation mixing pleasure, vanity and fear. they never consumated it. for many reasons. they badly touched each other. they badly kissed cheeks or shared smiles. it felt like they were being watched. all the time. he had found a girl who seemed to be crazy about him. she had told him so many times she loved him. and, yet, it was this girl, the four-years-ago girl, he couldn't forget. and they only shared words and thoughts. fun but dangerous. the weird sense of attraction to danger. she always wondered if they'd ever get caught in these games. only words, only thoughts, no touch. but, yet, so deeply involved in a net of all kinds of hurt. she was scared. she tried desperatedly to disguise it. she used to tell people they were friends. she used to tell people how she respected and admired him. she never dared telling them of the moments they spoke freely of these mad sensations they both had towards each other. what kind of life was this? hidden. masked. they were both masked. and the friends believed this could never be. her friends believed she would never feel for him but friendship and respect. or maybe they'd feel disgusted, if they only knew of the elevating things he would tell her even though he had a loving girl beside him. they'd feel disguted for her also, if they knew she enjoyed it secretly. well, who wouldn't? she tortured herself for that. it wasn't right, it would never be right. how could she call herself a good person if she had this kind of thoughts? she was low. he was low. they were both low. passionately low. and they'd burn down together if she went really mad. for several times she felt like going mad. she felt like bursting. but she pondered. she was scared. she was scared of her own thoughts and of what others would think. but once in a while she felt like burning. burning in his arms. burning in the arms of someone who seemed to cherish her truly and unlimitedly. she dreamt of it. she felt like she deserved it from a man. but how could they? how could they burst into passionate flames like this? there was the girl, there was her reputation, there were the friends, his and hers... it was all wrong. and yet if felt good. it felt intriguing. it felt dangerously nice. she was scared. so deeply scared.

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esse saiu de mim enquanto eu ouvia "ashes" do pain of salvation. ficou meio forte, mas gostei.